London Underground
by Not much a poet
Summary: The title says it all. This is my first humour fic, so don't flame it. Has the song in it, so be aware of the words, though not all of them are in this.


**A/N: Yeah, I know what you lot are going to say; Utter randomness. But I said it first, BWA HA HA! Anyway, I thought that this would be good for a fanfic, and Doctor Who seemed to fit the bill. So, who here liker the 'London Underground' song? If you haven't heard it, listen to it. Oh yeah, this song has some pretty bad language in it, but I have cut some bits out.**

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'Can't they get here any faster?' the Doctor whined. He and Rose were waiting for a train. They were in the London underground, so it was rather late coming. There were lots of people waiting with them, but that soon broke up (they all seemed to get the idea that the train just wasn't coming).

'Can't we go?' he asked.

'No. It'll be here soon' she answered.

'That's what you said twenty minutes ago!'

'It was supposed to be coming in twenty minutes!' she argued. 'Anyway, that's what you get for insisting on we go on the underground rather than the bloody TARDIS!'

'I've never been on the tube before…'

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Soon, they heard music filling the station.

'I like this song. What's it called again?' the Doctor asked, now having calmed down.

''Unfaithful'. It's by Rihanna' she said, thankful that his childish outbursts had stopped.

'_I don't wanna do this anymore  
I don't wanna be the reason why   
Every time I walk out the door  
I see him die a little more inside  
I don't wanna hurt him anymore  
I don't wanna take away his life  
I don't wanna be..._' went the lyrics.

'Reminds me of my ex-wife…' he grumbled.

'_Ex-wife_?' she asked.

'Yeah. You know I said about having a kid…'

'How could I forget?...' she said, grimly.

'I don't like this song anymore. It isn't even appropriate for this place…' he said, changing the subject, (but unfortunately not the song).

'Then what _would_ be?' she asked him.

'I don't know…' he said. After saying this, he burst into thought. A few seconds later, he came back to reality with an idea. Without Rose's consent, he broke out into song, like he was some sort of musical actor;

'_Some people might like to get a train to work  
Or drive in a Beamer or a merc,  
Some guys like to travel in by bus,  
But I can't be bothered with the fuss today  
I'm going to take my bike,  
Coz once again the Tube's on strike…_'

Immediately, Rose turned back to him in horror. She looked around franticly at the other people waiting. Some didn't know what the heck he was singing, some gave frowns, and others just looked at him like he was some sort of lunatic.

'Doctor!' she hissed, shaking him to try and make him stop. It was no use; he just carried on.

'…_even though they earn 30K.  
So I'm standing here in the pouring rain,   
Where the fuck's my fucking train?_

_London Underground  
London Underground…'_

He seemed to be getting louder by the second. Mothers were now getting wind of what he was singing. They had their kids there, so…

Rose just wanted the ground to swallow her up, but since this was Earth, that would be near-impossible. Instead, she covered her face with her hands. This was so not her day.

'Rose? What's wrong with you?' The Doctor asked cheerfully, like none of this had happened. At least he had stopped.

'What's wrong with _you_?' she spat.

'I just thought that it was appropriate…'

'Well, it's not…'

Then he saw a train driver.

'_London Underground  
London Underground  
They're all greedy_…(Rose cut that word off by shouting his name again)…_ I want to shoot them all with a rifle._

_All they say is "Please mind the doors",  
and they learned that on the two day course,  
This job could be done by a four year old.  
They just leave us freezing in the cold…_' he chanted. The man looked at him, a puzzled expression on his face. He then just suspected that the Doctor was drunk.

They then heard the P.A click in;

'Would the man on platform ten please refrain from swearing!' it went.

He then stopped. He looked around at the crowd of angry, surprised, hilarious, and confused faces. One song, so many emotions… He then looked at Rose.

'Sorry. But you know what I meant, right?' he apologized.

'Yep, I do. Just don't do that…' she said, sharply.

Then the train appeared.

'Finally…' the Doctor praised, hands at face looking up at the round ceiling.

They all crammed in. A woman wearing stilettos stood on his foot. He was about to swear again, but Rose shot him a death-stare. He nodded like a child does to his mother. He had been told.

It took about five minutes to load everyone in. When they all knew that the train would now be leaving, the P.A rang out again;

'We are very sorry for the delay. The train is facing some technical difficulties…'

Enough was enough. Like a time-bomb, the Doctor exploded, with a smile on his face (like a kid and a fire-bell);

'_Take your Oyster card, and shove it up your…_'__


End file.
